My father was born in 1931. He passed away in 1979 at 47 years old.
His father started out working for the railroad and went on to become a farmer. There was never much money around. Often my father told the story of his mother going to work cleaning a school at night in order to get money for him to go to school. I only remember seeing his mother once, while passing in a car.
My father went on to obtain a PhD in Chemical Engineering and he worked for a defense contractor. He grew to dislike the job a LOT, more for the politics than the actual work. (I can SO understand that right now).
He went to college at WVU, which is where he and my mother met. He apparently joined the German Club to be able to meet her and wound up helping her with algebra, which was not her best subject.
Two memories of my father from my childhood stand out:
1. He got us (my brother and me) up one night and made us go downstairs. To get to the downstairs we had to go down a wooden staircase (with no railing). The basement was unfinished cement and cinderblock. We could hear our mother screaming - she was apparently quite sick and taken to the hospital by ambluance. I remember driving by and looking up to a window and seeing her wave from there. She was supposed to have an emergency surgery, but credits her faith with making it not necessary.
2. My Dad taught me how to ride a bike. When the time came to take off the training wheels, he would hold onto the bike and walk/jog around the block with me. Once when we got back to our driveway, he told me that I had been riding a good part of the way by myself and he had been jogging to keep up! That made me feel really good about myself.
Christmas 1971 he came home and said that we were moving to Utah in two weeks. At the time, I had no idea where or what "Utah" was. :) His work transferred him.
Dad took alpine skiing lessons with my brother and me that first winter we lived in Salt Lake. Mom, of course, had been skiing her whole life.
*****
OK. I just had a cold shiver run down my back. My father worked 17 miles away from his job there. He grew to hate it toward the end. One day, when he was 47, he came home sick from work. A week later he passed away.
I work 17 miles away from my job. I grow to dislike the politics of that workplace more and more each day. This week I barely pulled myself back from "the edge". I am 46.
*****
What's a memory you have of YOUR father?
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
MOMS - November 2007
I seem to be having a theme of "welcome to my world" this month, so I thought I'd tell you all about my Mother.
My mother was born in Davos, Graubunden, Switzerland in 1923. Her father was Swiss and her mother was American.
Her father wanted to be a banker, but his parents insisted he be a lawyer. This was back in the day when you didn't say no to your parents about anything. So he became a lawyer ... and started drinking. Mom didn't say anything to me about this until within the last ten years or so; I guess she was ashamed, although she needn't have been. Whatever money the family had was spent on drink or on taking care of Nayni (as close a phonetic spelling as I can get) once he developed the health problems of an excessive drinker.
Mom, her brother and mother spent a lot of time living with other family and friends.
Then, in her teens and early twenty's WWII exploded all around the little haven that was Switzerland. Even today it doesn't take more than like two hours to cross the country, so it must have been terribly nerve-wracking back then. I think that is where I get my determination and persistence from ... her backbone.
Like I said before, my Nani (Swiss for grandmother) was actually born in the US, and emigrated to Switzerland when she was 17. She was a beautiful woman (I've seen pictures) in her youth and according to my Mother had quite a few "gentleman callers". Mom has some old rings of Nani's and you just don't get the same craftsmanship today as you did back then.
Anyhow, my grandfather was the suitor that she chose to marry, and am I ever glad that she did! *LOL*
On the downside, I date most of my problems with self-esteem from the time I wanted to enter a children's beauty pageant when I was about 5 or 6, and my mother's response was "well, you know not everyone wins". For all I know, it could have been that we didn't have the money for the entry fee ... but my little self took it as that my mother did not believe I could win.
On the plus side, my Mother has surprised me more than once with shows of support. I suppose the biggest one was when I had to tell her I was pregnant the first time. Normally, not a hard thing to tell one's mother, especially considering it would be her first grandchild - and she had started to think she wouldn't live to see them; however, I was *scary movie music* "not married". She really stepped up to the plate on that one, regardless of what I might or might not have deserved at that point.
Mothers are people too. They're not angels, but they're not devils either. If yours leans more towards the angel side, you are truly blessed. If, on the other hand, your mother has had ... more than a fair share of problems ... you have my sympathy and my admiration for surviving in spite of it all.
Oh, remind me one day to post the picture of my mother alpine skiing in her bathing suit. She was a hottie back in her day! :)
My mother was born in Davos, Graubunden, Switzerland in 1923. Her father was Swiss and her mother was American.
Her father wanted to be a banker, but his parents insisted he be a lawyer. This was back in the day when you didn't say no to your parents about anything. So he became a lawyer ... and started drinking. Mom didn't say anything to me about this until within the last ten years or so; I guess she was ashamed, although she needn't have been. Whatever money the family had was spent on drink or on taking care of Nayni (as close a phonetic spelling as I can get) once he developed the health problems of an excessive drinker.
Mom, her brother and mother spent a lot of time living with other family and friends.
Then, in her teens and early twenty's WWII exploded all around the little haven that was Switzerland. Even today it doesn't take more than like two hours to cross the country, so it must have been terribly nerve-wracking back then. I think that is where I get my determination and persistence from ... her backbone.
Like I said before, my Nani (Swiss for grandmother) was actually born in the US, and emigrated to Switzerland when she was 17. She was a beautiful woman (I've seen pictures) in her youth and according to my Mother had quite a few "gentleman callers". Mom has some old rings of Nani's and you just don't get the same craftsmanship today as you did back then.
Anyhow, my grandfather was the suitor that she chose to marry, and am I ever glad that she did! *LOL*
On the downside, I date most of my problems with self-esteem from the time I wanted to enter a children's beauty pageant when I was about 5 or 6, and my mother's response was "well, you know not everyone wins". For all I know, it could have been that we didn't have the money for the entry fee ... but my little self took it as that my mother did not believe I could win.
On the plus side, my Mother has surprised me more than once with shows of support. I suppose the biggest one was when I had to tell her I was pregnant the first time. Normally, not a hard thing to tell one's mother, especially considering it would be her first grandchild - and she had started to think she wouldn't live to see them; however, I was *scary movie music* "not married". She really stepped up to the plate on that one, regardless of what I might or might not have deserved at that point.
Mothers are people too. They're not angels, but they're not devils either. If yours leans more towards the angel side, you are truly blessed. If, on the other hand, your mother has had ... more than a fair share of problems ... you have my sympathy and my admiration for surviving in spite of it all.
Oh, remind me one day to post the picture of my mother alpine skiing in her bathing suit. She was a hottie back in her day! :)
Sunday, November 4, 2007
WORK - November 2007
I have two income-producing activities at the moment.
Firstly, I work outside the home at a residential/teaching facility for adults with mental retardation and developmental disabilities. It can be difficult work, but it has its rewards - like when you see someone learn something new, or see a face light up when you walk in the room or they hear your voice. It is probably the first job I've had where I feel like I've made a substantive difference in someone's life.
The trouble comes in with the administration. I have to either suppose that they are inept and just don't see the way things are, or unfeeling and don't care. For instance, during the latter part of the summer, we had a heat wave here. They were issuing municipal warnings to stay inside if you didn't absolutely have to be out. Kids at school did not go out for recess. But we had to take our residents out of the homes from 9am to 4pm to various classes and locations on the campus ... residents with seizure diagnoses and breathing troubles. Sometimes it just seemed downright irresponsible. But the staff would get in trouble if it was not done.
The next two weeks DOJ (the Department of Justice) and OIG (Office of the Inspector General) will be 'surveying' the operations of the facility. We've been given required activities to do with the residents in the home as well: exercise, music appreciation, socialization and crafts. We've been given a specific set of words we need to use when someone unfamiliar comes into the home.
Staff: Welcome to Home 6. My name is _____. Would you like to sign our guestbook? Right now, we are engaged in (insert activity) with the individuals because it assists in developing the (leisure, etc) domain of their ILP (individual life plan).
It sounds so forced and artificial.
But the muckety-muck who came through our home to "quiz" us on the above ... I have to give him a little credit. He came in right after we had finished dinner. There was only me and another lady as staff. We introduced ourselves, got him to sign the guest book and the log and said we were going to be engaging in evening activities with our ladies. It came out that supplies had been ordered and were not expected until the next week. He said, "That is unacceptable. There's a WalMart next door, isn't there?" There were hundreds of dollars of supplies for arts, crafts, and sensory activities in the home the very next day.
I can't wait until the surveyors get there actually. I will be diplomatic, to be sure, but I will be honest with my opinion if and when they ask.
Firstly, I work outside the home at a residential/teaching facility for adults with mental retardation and developmental disabilities. It can be difficult work, but it has its rewards - like when you see someone learn something new, or see a face light up when you walk in the room or they hear your voice. It is probably the first job I've had where I feel like I've made a substantive difference in someone's life.
The trouble comes in with the administration. I have to either suppose that they are inept and just don't see the way things are, or unfeeling and don't care. For instance, during the latter part of the summer, we had a heat wave here. They were issuing municipal warnings to stay inside if you didn't absolutely have to be out. Kids at school did not go out for recess. But we had to take our residents out of the homes from 9am to 4pm to various classes and locations on the campus ... residents with seizure diagnoses and breathing troubles. Sometimes it just seemed downright irresponsible. But the staff would get in trouble if it was not done.
The next two weeks DOJ (the Department of Justice) and OIG (Office of the Inspector General) will be 'surveying' the operations of the facility. We've been given required activities to do with the residents in the home as well: exercise, music appreciation, socialization and crafts. We've been given a specific set of words we need to use when someone unfamiliar comes into the home.
Staff: Welcome to Home 6. My name is _____. Would you like to sign our guestbook? Right now, we are engaged in (insert activity) with the individuals because it assists in developing the (leisure, etc) domain of their ILP (individual life plan).
It sounds so forced and artificial.
But the muckety-muck who came through our home to "quiz" us on the above ... I have to give him a little credit. He came in right after we had finished dinner. There was only me and another lady as staff. We introduced ourselves, got him to sign the guest book and the log and said we were going to be engaging in evening activities with our ladies. It came out that supplies had been ordered and were not expected until the next week. He said, "That is unacceptable. There's a WalMart next door, isn't there?" There were hundreds of dollars of supplies for arts, crafts, and sensory activities in the home the very next day.
I can't wait until the surveyors get there actually. I will be diplomatic, to be sure, but I will be honest with my opinion if and when they ask.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
HOME - November 2007
Last month I sang the praises of "home" life. This month I'll introduce you to my "house". I'll just have to paint with words as I don't have a picture to put up here.
The original part of the house was moved to its present location from across the street in the 1920's. I know this because there is a part of a wall sticking out from under the side/back porch in which someone has scratched 1926. Also, I was speaking with a home school mom from across the street and she told me that my house used to sit where hers does now, and that it was moved. But I got the bonus tidbit that the house sat in the middle of the road overnight (for whatever reason) and that the woman who owned it slept in the house ... right in the street! There's a few cars that pass by now every once in a while, but back then, I'm sure it was just a dirt road with like one or two cars a month passing by. *lol*
I think the front part was all there was to the house when it was moved. So that would make it 3 rooms: what we use as our bedroom, the living room and the "hallway" / entryway. Then at some point, the back part was added on, effectively doubling the size of the house. (And thank goodness for that, because we are cramped as it is.) But there is another bedroom, the kitchen (which is the largest room in the house), a bathroom and small storage/utility room. The back part of the house is not as wide as the front part, but longer, so there is a little "hidey-place" on the one side that I like. I can go out on the back porch and not really be seen from the street, which is ok with me. It is the back porch of inspiration, that gave me the name for my other blog, Back Porchervations. A porchervation is an observation made on a porch. *lol*
There is only one interior door, and that is to the bathroom. That was my biggest adjustment. I'm used to doors. I like doors. I probably wouldn't pull the covers over my head so much if there was a door to my bedroom. :p
Well, that's my house in a nutshell. It isn't very big. Real estate agents might call it "cozy".
I like the back yard. There are a LOT of trees that must be 100+ years old. It looks like a forest, and I like to think that it is much as pioneers might have found it back in the day.
The original part of the house was moved to its present location from across the street in the 1920's. I know this because there is a part of a wall sticking out from under the side/back porch in which someone has scratched 1926. Also, I was speaking with a home school mom from across the street and she told me that my house used to sit where hers does now, and that it was moved. But I got the bonus tidbit that the house sat in the middle of the road overnight (for whatever reason) and that the woman who owned it slept in the house ... right in the street! There's a few cars that pass by now every once in a while, but back then, I'm sure it was just a dirt road with like one or two cars a month passing by. *lol*
I think the front part was all there was to the house when it was moved. So that would make it 3 rooms: what we use as our bedroom, the living room and the "hallway" / entryway. Then at some point, the back part was added on, effectively doubling the size of the house. (And thank goodness for that, because we are cramped as it is.) But there is another bedroom, the kitchen (which is the largest room in the house), a bathroom and small storage/utility room. The back part of the house is not as wide as the front part, but longer, so there is a little "hidey-place" on the one side that I like. I can go out on the back porch and not really be seen from the street, which is ok with me. It is the back porch of inspiration, that gave me the name for my other blog, Back Porchervations. A porchervation is an observation made on a porch. *lol*
There is only one interior door, and that is to the bathroom. That was my biggest adjustment. I'm used to doors. I like doors. I probably wouldn't pull the covers over my head so much if there was a door to my bedroom. :p
Well, that's my house in a nutshell. It isn't very big. Real estate agents might call it "cozy".
I like the back yard. There are a LOT of trees that must be 100+ years old. It looks like a forest, and I like to think that it is much as pioneers might have found it back in the day.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
FAMILY - November 2007
This month I thought I'd introduce you to my family.
MOM
My mother was born in Davos, Graubunden, Switzerland in 1923. She has one brother. She spent early adulthood smack dab in the middle of WWII Europe. Her father was an alcoholic - something I did not find out until the late 1990's. Mom doesn't like to talk about it. Her hair was jet black in her youth ... and as long as she bothered to color her hair. Now it is a nice silvery-white. It was quite a shock, though, when I flew out of Salt Lake one time, leaving her there with black hair and came back a couple of months later to see her with white hair. *LOL*
She was stern in bringing up my brother and me. She wore horn-rimmed glasses for the longest time. I guess it was a 60's thing. We got disciplined by being spanked by a wooden spoon - this was back in the days before spanking was considered child abuse ... but THAT is a topic for another day.
I also credit her with raising me in such a fashion that I did no more than dabble with drugs and alcohol. She took the news that I was pregnant (and not married) a LOT better than I thought she would. For a while, though, I considered myself closer to my MIL than to my own mother ... until MIL tried to get custody of my sons about 7 years ago. Mom stood by me in that and I am grateful.
I appreciate my mother a whole lot more and feel much sorrier for how I treated her while I was growing up now that I have kids of my own.
*****
BROTHER
My brother is 22 months older than me. When the tooth fairy "forgot" to visit me one night when I was little, he dug a quarter out of his piggy bank and gave it to me. When we moved from Maryland to Utah, he punched me in the arm (in an annoyingly brotherly sort of way) more times than I care to remember.
I felt bad for him when he had started college and lost a scholarship based on .001 of a grade point ... and because I happened to have a teensily higher GPA (I was still in high school) that term ... and our parents never let him forget it.
My brother is an EXTREMELY TALENTED keyboardist. He plays mostly piano and organ. He has played with the Utah Opera (as a rehearsal accompanist), accompanied many voice students at the University of Utah and is in the Master of Music program there.
He is a ROCK.
*****
HUBBY
I met my husband online. He is my 2nd husband.
You could say that we complete each other ... or you could say we're co-dependent on each other. He has manic depression (bi-polar disorder) - and I'm beginning to suspect BPD - and I have clinical depression.
We've been married ten years and counting and are still learning about each other. I hope that never stops. There are a lot of things I like and admire about him ... and one or two things that don't sit quite so well.
He is nearly totally self-taught in computers and I say with confidence that if there is something he cannot do with a computer ... then it pretty much doesn't need doing by the vast majority of folks.
*****
DS1
DS1 will be 11 on December 1st. I still remember going into the hospital for him to be born. I remember the utter terror when they wheeled him into my room for the first time (he was on O2 and I was restricted to bed for 24 hours).
He has ADD and is starting to enter that flippant "tween" stage. (I am headed to the store for vitamins ... and maybe valium.) He is also one of the brightest, most inquisitive people I know.
The cutest thing about him is when he got mad at the nurses in the NICU when his sister was born because they wouldn't let him take her home so he could take care of her!
*****
DS2
DS2 was born 18 months (almost to the day) after his older brother. I figured we were done having kids then because each of us had been born in a different state ... and we had no plans to move.
DS2 has SPD. His intelligence his deeper in his person than is his brother's. It takes him a little longer to catch on but once he does, he remembers forever. He likes to draw (a former speciality was butterflies - and I had to literally bite my tongue the day he brought me one ... it must have been female because the top half was anatomically CORRECT!) *LOL*
He is one of the sweetest and kindest individuals I know. He enjoys doing things to make people happy, and giving them nice surprises.
*****
DD
DD is my miracle baby. I was 41 YOA when DD was born - 8 weeks premature. We were told to expect her to stay in NICU until the original due date, but she was progressing well enough that we were able to bring her home at 22 days old! The hardest thing I have ever done was to have to leave her in the hospital when I was discharged.
I roomed in with her the final night. There were several rooms in the NICU unit that were like little hotel rooms, where the parent/s could stay with their preemie alone, but still have the hospital staff within hollering distance should the need arise. The next morning, it was time to go. She was dressed in her white lacy going home outfit, when it became apparent that she needed a change. Once I got her wiped up, and before I got the new diaper secured, she squirted out another poopie all over her going-home outfit, pretty blankets and ALL OVER MY ARM! *LOL* (I knew I'd laugh at that one day!)
She has impossibly curly hair (less so now that her hair is a little longer) and likes pink. Last week she talked for two days about getting a tool set ... so Papaw took her out and got her a tool set. She was thrilled!
Now she wants a cupcake set ... whatever that is.
*****
*****
How about y'all? What does YOUR family "look" like?
MOM
My mother was born in Davos, Graubunden, Switzerland in 1923. She has one brother. She spent early adulthood smack dab in the middle of WWII Europe. Her father was an alcoholic - something I did not find out until the late 1990's. Mom doesn't like to talk about it. Her hair was jet black in her youth ... and as long as she bothered to color her hair. Now it is a nice silvery-white. It was quite a shock, though, when I flew out of Salt Lake one time, leaving her there with black hair and came back a couple of months later to see her with white hair. *LOL*
She was stern in bringing up my brother and me. She wore horn-rimmed glasses for the longest time. I guess it was a 60's thing. We got disciplined by being spanked by a wooden spoon - this was back in the days before spanking was considered child abuse ... but THAT is a topic for another day.
I also credit her with raising me in such a fashion that I did no more than dabble with drugs and alcohol. She took the news that I was pregnant (and not married) a LOT better than I thought she would. For a while, though, I considered myself closer to my MIL than to my own mother ... until MIL tried to get custody of my sons about 7 years ago. Mom stood by me in that and I am grateful.
I appreciate my mother a whole lot more and feel much sorrier for how I treated her while I was growing up now that I have kids of my own.
*****
BROTHER
My brother is 22 months older than me. When the tooth fairy "forgot" to visit me one night when I was little, he dug a quarter out of his piggy bank and gave it to me. When we moved from Maryland to Utah, he punched me in the arm (in an annoyingly brotherly sort of way) more times than I care to remember.
I felt bad for him when he had started college and lost a scholarship based on .001 of a grade point ... and because I happened to have a teensily higher GPA (I was still in high school) that term ... and our parents never let him forget it.
My brother is an EXTREMELY TALENTED keyboardist. He plays mostly piano and organ. He has played with the Utah Opera (as a rehearsal accompanist), accompanied many voice students at the University of Utah and is in the Master of Music program there.
He is a ROCK.
*****
HUBBY
I met my husband online. He is my 2nd husband.
You could say that we complete each other ... or you could say we're co-dependent on each other. He has manic depression (bi-polar disorder) - and I'm beginning to suspect BPD - and I have clinical depression.
We've been married ten years and counting and are still learning about each other. I hope that never stops. There are a lot of things I like and admire about him ... and one or two things that don't sit quite so well.
He is nearly totally self-taught in computers and I say with confidence that if there is something he cannot do with a computer ... then it pretty much doesn't need doing by the vast majority of folks.
*****
DS1
DS1 will be 11 on December 1st. I still remember going into the hospital for him to be born. I remember the utter terror when they wheeled him into my room for the first time (he was on O2 and I was restricted to bed for 24 hours).
He has ADD and is starting to enter that flippant "tween" stage. (I am headed to the store for vitamins ... and maybe valium.) He is also one of the brightest, most inquisitive people I know.
The cutest thing about him is when he got mad at the nurses in the NICU when his sister was born because they wouldn't let him take her home so he could take care of her!
*****
DS2
DS2 was born 18 months (almost to the day) after his older brother. I figured we were done having kids then because each of us had been born in a different state ... and we had no plans to move.
DS2 has SPD. His intelligence his deeper in his person than is his brother's. It takes him a little longer to catch on but once he does, he remembers forever. He likes to draw (a former speciality was butterflies - and I had to literally bite my tongue the day he brought me one ... it must have been female because the top half was anatomically CORRECT!) *LOL*
He is one of the sweetest and kindest individuals I know. He enjoys doing things to make people happy, and giving them nice surprises.
*****
DD
DD is my miracle baby. I was 41 YOA when DD was born - 8 weeks premature. We were told to expect her to stay in NICU until the original due date, but she was progressing well enough that we were able to bring her home at 22 days old! The hardest thing I have ever done was to have to leave her in the hospital when I was discharged.
I roomed in with her the final night. There were several rooms in the NICU unit that were like little hotel rooms, where the parent/s could stay with their preemie alone, but still have the hospital staff within hollering distance should the need arise. The next morning, it was time to go. She was dressed in her white lacy going home outfit, when it became apparent that she needed a change. Once I got her wiped up, and before I got the new diaper secured, she squirted out another poopie all over her going-home outfit, pretty blankets and ALL OVER MY ARM! *LOL* (I knew I'd laugh at that one day!)
She has impossibly curly hair (less so now that her hair is a little longer) and likes pink. Last week she talked for two days about getting a tool set ... so Papaw took her out and got her a tool set. She was thrilled!
Now she wants a cupcake set ... whatever that is.
*****
*****
How about y'all? What does YOUR family "look" like?
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
VACATIONS - October 2007
The last 'vacation' on which my family and I went was last holiday season ... to San Francisco. MIL and her husband lived in S San Fran at the time (they have since moved to Ft Worth, and I've been informed we are going for Thanksgiving ... but THAT's another story.)
It was the first time DD and DS2 had been on an airplane, so I was worried. The Conair crash in Lexington was still semi-fresh in people's minds, so I was worried. We were all traveling on the same plane, so I was worried. (Are you sensing the theme here?). I had gum in case the kids' ears started to pop. DS2's did and it scared him a bit. But I shouldn't have worried (as much.) I was sitting with DD (and she was next to the window). As we started to speed down the runway, she SHOUTED, "Faster! FASTER!!!" *lol*
Our flight from Louisville on Southwest was shortly after 7 am I believe and we were there by 4:30. Admirable, but nothing was open that early...not even the baggage check-in. But we did find the closest parking spot in long-term parking. It is quite difficult to keep three high-energy children safe and entertained in a nearly deserted airport for a couple of hours.
On our plane change in Las Vegas, I wanted to take a turn at some slots ... but it just didn't work out. Later, we arrived in San Jose and "Grammy" (MIL) was waiting and estatic to see us ... well, the kids anyway. While we were waiting for the luggage, she offered to take the kids to the car and come pick us up. Due to certain events in our shared past, I was not in favor of that option. We got out all the same. She had rented a small SUV for the duration of our visit, because her Cadillac (the only kind of car she will drive-don't I WISH!) wouldn't fit us all and the luggage too.
There is, of course, a LOT more to this story, but that will come out over the months. One thing I did vow, was that I would NEVER again travel at December holiday time with the whole family. Well, at least this year, we will be gone (to SLC to visit MY family) and back by December 17th.
I wish I had seen this list for "Navigating the Airport During Peak Times". It's great to see familiy, especially during holidays or birthdays or at family reunions. But give yourself every advantage you can, so the vacation can be a relaxing change, and not just recovery from the trip!
Feel free to post any additional travel tips you may have. Thanks!
It was the first time DD and DS2 had been on an airplane, so I was worried. The Conair crash in Lexington was still semi-fresh in people's minds, so I was worried. We were all traveling on the same plane, so I was worried. (Are you sensing the theme here?). I had gum in case the kids' ears started to pop. DS2's did and it scared him a bit. But I shouldn't have worried (as much.) I was sitting with DD (and she was next to the window). As we started to speed down the runway, she SHOUTED, "Faster! FASTER!!!" *lol*
Our flight from Louisville on Southwest was shortly after 7 am I believe and we were there by 4:30. Admirable, but nothing was open that early...not even the baggage check-in. But we did find the closest parking spot in long-term parking. It is quite difficult to keep three high-energy children safe and entertained in a nearly deserted airport for a couple of hours.
On our plane change in Las Vegas, I wanted to take a turn at some slots ... but it just didn't work out. Later, we arrived in San Jose and "Grammy" (MIL) was waiting and estatic to see us ... well, the kids anyway. While we were waiting for the luggage, she offered to take the kids to the car and come pick us up. Due to certain events in our shared past, I was not in favor of that option. We got out all the same. She had rented a small SUV for the duration of our visit, because her Cadillac (the only kind of car she will drive-don't I WISH!) wouldn't fit us all and the luggage too.
There is, of course, a LOT more to this story, but that will come out over the months. One thing I did vow, was that I would NEVER again travel at December holiday time with the whole family. Well, at least this year, we will be gone (to SLC to visit MY family) and back by December 17th.
I wish I had seen this list for "Navigating the Airport During Peak Times". It's great to see familiy, especially during holidays or birthdays or at family reunions. But give yourself every advantage you can, so the vacation can be a relaxing change, and not just recovery from the trip!
Feel free to post any additional travel tips you may have. Thanks!
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
INSURANCE - October 2007
The last couple of months for my family have proven how valuable insurance is not for our physical health, but also for our financial health.
My husband began experiencing chest pains. We went 4 (?) times to the ER in 6-8 weeks, including two trips by ambulance. It wound up being his gallbladder. There was one surgery (that was bungled in the pre-op phase, and nearly killed him) which was not actually done, and another surgery (in a different hospital), complications from that necessitated a return trip to the hospital and a 2nd outpatient 'procedure'.
I shudder to think what our bills would be like without insurance.
Then there were the bills when my daughter was born. I had insurance through my work. On my 2nd OB visit, the office presented me with their calculation of what I would still owe the doctor, once the insurance had covered what they would cover ... and it was about $1200, which they would graciously allow me to pay over 6 months. I just about crumbled at that point, because we didn't have $200 TOTAL to give the doctor, let alone $200 per month for 6 months.
I turned to Medicaid at that point. I'm not sure, but think that pregnancy is just about an automatic in for Medicaid at the income level we had then. And thank goodness it was!
I had a high-risk pregnancy, due to my age, high blood pressure and gestational diabetes, so I also had to visit a specialist. My daughter wound up being born 2 months early, weighing 3 lbs .4 oz at birth. She stayed 22 days in the hospital and the hospital bill (covered 100 pct by my insurance at work) was in the neighborhood of $60K.
It can be frustrating, too. We have dental insurance through my work. But it sucks. There is a yearly limit per person of $1,000. I can't even get one tooth fixed for that much, KWIM?
Then there is life insurance, which is another near-necessity, especially if you are a one-income family. What happens when the wage-earner passes on? This was the case with my father died at 47 years of age. He only had term life insurance, but luckily it was still in force. It was of sufficient amount to pay off the mortgage to the house in which we were living, which was a HUGE load off my mother's mind.
Do you have any stories about insurance - good or bad? Feel free to share them here!
My husband began experiencing chest pains. We went 4 (?) times to the ER in 6-8 weeks, including two trips by ambulance. It wound up being his gallbladder. There was one surgery (that was bungled in the pre-op phase, and nearly killed him) which was not actually done, and another surgery (in a different hospital), complications from that necessitated a return trip to the hospital and a 2nd outpatient 'procedure'.
I shudder to think what our bills would be like without insurance.
Then there were the bills when my daughter was born. I had insurance through my work. On my 2nd OB visit, the office presented me with their calculation of what I would still owe the doctor, once the insurance had covered what they would cover ... and it was about $1200, which they would graciously allow me to pay over 6 months. I just about crumbled at that point, because we didn't have $200 TOTAL to give the doctor, let alone $200 per month for 6 months.
I turned to Medicaid at that point. I'm not sure, but think that pregnancy is just about an automatic in for Medicaid at the income level we had then. And thank goodness it was!
I had a high-risk pregnancy, due to my age, high blood pressure and gestational diabetes, so I also had to visit a specialist. My daughter wound up being born 2 months early, weighing 3 lbs .4 oz at birth. She stayed 22 days in the hospital and the hospital bill (covered 100 pct by my insurance at work) was in the neighborhood of $60K.
It can be frustrating, too. We have dental insurance through my work. But it sucks. There is a yearly limit per person of $1,000. I can't even get one tooth fixed for that much, KWIM?
Then there is life insurance, which is another near-necessity, especially if you are a one-income family. What happens when the wage-earner passes on? This was the case with my father died at 47 years of age. He only had term life insurance, but luckily it was still in force. It was of sufficient amount to pay off the mortgage to the house in which we were living, which was a HUGE load off my mother's mind.
Do you have any stories about insurance - good or bad? Feel free to share them here!
Monday, October 15, 2007
HEALTH/WELLNESS - October 2007
To me, "health" can be physical, psychological, emotional, etc. "Wellness", on the other hand, happens more when all our various "healths" are working together like a well-oiled machine. Maybe the word I'm looking for is that wellness is more "esoteric" than health.
Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I thought I would concentrate on that for now, and work through a different aspect of health or wellness each month. (You may have noticed I'd "gone pink" for the month, and would like to encourage anyone else to do the same. There's still time!)
Two main obstacles with breast cancer are fear of the unknown and fear of death.
The American Cancer Society has a great page with basic facts (and of course links to just about anything you would want to know.
They also have a great resource called the NexProfiler Treatment Option Tool for Breast Cancer that helps those (women AND men) with breast cancer with choices they need to make concerning their health care.
I also looked at the About.com site for cancer and found a list of celebrities who had cancer and survived, which I thought might be an inspiration for people. Actress Edie Falco, singer Melissa Ethridge and activist Gloria Steinem are just three of the list of well-known survivors of breast cancer. I remember watching a Montel Williams show once where he talked about his breast cancer ... so it's not just for women anymore, KWIM?
One of the easiest things to do to fight cancer if you already have it, or reduce your risk if you don't is by eating cancer-fighting foods. (OT here: I think it's a little funny that a search for "Top Ten Cancer Fighting Foods" yielded more results than simply "Cancer-fighting foods".) Here are the top ten:
Here are some closing words from The Buddha:
May all beings everywhere
plagued with sufferings of body and mind
quickly be freed from their illnesses.
May those frightened cease to be afraid,
and may those bound be free.
May the powerless find power,
and may people think of befriending one another.
Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I thought I would concentrate on that for now, and work through a different aspect of health or wellness each month. (You may have noticed I'd "gone pink" for the month, and would like to encourage anyone else to do the same. There's still time!)
Two main obstacles with breast cancer are fear of the unknown and fear of death.
The American Cancer Society has a great page with basic facts (and of course links to just about anything you would want to know.
They also have a great resource called the NexProfiler Treatment Option Tool for Breast Cancer that helps those (women AND men) with breast cancer with choices they need to make concerning their health care.
I also looked at the About.com site for cancer and found a list of celebrities who had cancer and survived, which I thought might be an inspiration for people. Actress Edie Falco, singer Melissa Ethridge and activist Gloria Steinem are just three of the list of well-known survivors of breast cancer. I remember watching a Montel Williams show once where he talked about his breast cancer ... so it's not just for women anymore, KWIM?
One of the easiest things to do to fight cancer if you already have it, or reduce your risk if you don't is by eating cancer-fighting foods. (OT here: I think it's a little funny that a search for "Top Ten Cancer Fighting Foods" yielded more results than simply "Cancer-fighting foods".) Here are the top ten:
- tomatoes
- broccoli sprouts
- berries
- soybeans
- tea
- pumpkin
- spinach
- garlic
- pineapple
- apple
Here are some closing words from The Buddha:
May all beings everywhere
plagued with sufferings of body and mind
quickly be freed from their illnesses.
May those frightened cease to be afraid,
and may those bound be free.
May the powerless find power,
and may people think of befriending one another.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
ORGANIZATION - October 2007
"Organization" can mean a lot of things ... from your kids keeping their rooms picked up, to the family finances being in order, to having a plan to keep the household running smoothly.
If you happen to be amongst the organizationally-challenged (like me), thank goodness there are PLENTY of online resources to help you out.
Since Halloween is coming up, I'm going to feature some Halloween Tips from the Get Organized Now website:
If you happen to be amongst the organizationally-challenged (like me), thank goodness there are PLENTY of online resources to help you out.
Since Halloween is coming up, I'm going to feature some Halloween Tips from the Get Organized Now website:
Getting Organized for Halloween: 10 Spooktacular TipsGo here for the 'fleshed-out' version of the above! :)
by Maria Gracia
- MAKE A LIST.
- DECORATE FOR THE SEASON.
- FIND THE FESTIVITIES.
- SEARCH YOUR TV LISTINGS.
- BUY TREATS AHEAD OF TIME.
- ORGANIZE TREATS INTO TREAT BAGS.
- ORGANIZE A HALLOWEEN PARTY.
- GET READY FOR PARTIES YOU'RE ATTENDING.
- SEND OUT HALLOWEEN GREETINGS.
- ENJOY THE SEASON.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
GENEALOGY - October 2007
(Sorry for the 2nd post in a day, but I missed a day and am catching up.)
A Yahoo search of the term "genealogy" offers 70,500,000 results. (That's 70.5 MILLION). Google shows 38,600,000. Clearly I'm not the only one thinking about this.
If you've started on yours ... congratulations and good job!
If you haven't started gathering information about your family and ancestors, what's keeping you? :) For myself, I'm always a bit daunted at the beginning of a big job ... and this task can be HUGE! Luckily for folks like us, there are bazillions of resources, both on and off-line. Most local libraries have a genealogy section where you can find valuable local records. Probably the biggest repository of physical records in the word is maintained by the LDS Church (Mormons) in Salt Lake City, Utah.
If you want to create a record of names, dates and events (birth, marriage, etc) for your family, two indispensable forms will be the "Family Group Record" and the "Pedigree Chart". I'm having trouble getting the links to work, so am providing another source: (Family Group Record), (Pedigree Chart).
The FGR allows you to record information for a biological father, mother and their children. In case of a couple without children, you can just use the "husband" and "wife" spaces.
The PC starts with one person and traces their mother and father, and maternal and paternal ancestors - and usually covers four generations, although I have seen them with as many as eleven generations covered. Just in case anyone is interested, 11 generations is 2,047 people!
If you've got any questions, please feel free to ask.
I guess it had been a while since my last entry on genealogy, so some of this information is repeated, but if anyone's interested, here is my previous entry on the subject: http://familyhomeworkshop.blogspot.com/2007/07/roots.html.
We don't do enough of this today. I am so guilty myself. My mother is 84 ... her brother is 86. If their stories and knowledge of my ancestors is not recorded soon, it will be harder to find later on ... if not impossible.ge·ne·al·o·gyDictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
[jee-nee-ol-uh-jee, -al-, jen-ee-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun, plural -gies.
1. a record or account of the ancestry and descent of a person, family, group, etc.
2. the study of family ancestries and histories.
3. descent from an original form or progenitor; lineage; ancestry.
4. Biology. a group of individuals or species having a common ancestry: The various species of Darwin's finches form a closely knit genealogy. [Origin: 1250–1300; ME genealogie <>geneālogia <>geneālogía pedigree, equiv. to generace (see gene) + -logia -logy
]
—Related formsge·ne·a·log·i·calge·ne·a·log·i·cal·ly, adverbge·ne·al·o·gist, noun
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.
A Yahoo search of the term "genealogy" offers 70,500,000 results. (That's 70.5 MILLION). Google shows 38,600,000. Clearly I'm not the only one thinking about this.
If you've started on yours ... congratulations and good job!
If you haven't started gathering information about your family and ancestors, what's keeping you? :) For myself, I'm always a bit daunted at the beginning of a big job ... and this task can be HUGE! Luckily for folks like us, there are bazillions of resources, both on and off-line. Most local libraries have a genealogy section where you can find valuable local records. Probably the biggest repository of physical records in the word is maintained by the LDS Church (Mormons) in Salt Lake City, Utah.
If you want to create a record of names, dates and events (birth, marriage, etc) for your family, two indispensable forms will be the "Family Group Record" and the "Pedigree Chart". I'm having trouble getting the links to work, so am providing another source: (Family Group Record), (Pedigree Chart).
The FGR allows you to record information for a biological father, mother and their children. In case of a couple without children, you can just use the "husband" and "wife" spaces.
The PC starts with one person and traces their mother and father, and maternal and paternal ancestors - and usually covers four generations, although I have seen them with as many as eleven generations covered. Just in case anyone is interested, 11 generations is 2,047 people!
If you've got any questions, please feel free to ask.
I guess it had been a while since my last entry on genealogy, so some of this information is repeated, but if anyone's interested, here is my previous entry on the subject: http://familyhomeworkshop.blogspot.com/2007/07/roots.html.
FRIENDS - October 2007
I am a blessed woman.
I have a roof over my head.
I have a job.
I have a car to get me back and forth to my job.
I have a spouse.
I have two sons, aged 10 and 9.
I have a daughter, age 4.
I have friends.
I have online friends. They are great because I can always find a sympathetic ear, or someone who can tell me like it is. They are wonderful and accepting, uninhibited with the freedom afforded by the Internet. One really great thing is that they are from ALL OVER THE WORLD, and usually someone is awake, no matter WHAT time of day it is here! *lol*
I have offline friends. They are great too, for a lot of the same reasons as my online buddies. I can also shake their hands, give and receive physical hugs and go out to midnight bingo with them.
I could do without the roof (ok, maybe not now that winter is on the way). I could do without the car (there's a little store, a bank and a post office down the street...AND there are two computers in my house that are WIRED!).
But do without my family and friends? I DON'T THINK SO!
My single best piece of friendship advice for the month (I wish I could claim it as my own)? To have good friends - BE a good friend!
I have a roof over my head.
I have a job.
I have a car to get me back and forth to my job.
I have a spouse.
I have two sons, aged 10 and 9.
I have a daughter, age 4.
I have friends.
I have online friends. They are great because I can always find a sympathetic ear, or someone who can tell me like it is. They are wonderful and accepting, uninhibited with the freedom afforded by the Internet. One really great thing is that they are from ALL OVER THE WORLD, and usually someone is awake, no matter WHAT time of day it is here! *lol*
I have offline friends. They are great too, for a lot of the same reasons as my online buddies. I can also shake their hands, give and receive physical hugs and go out to midnight bingo with them.
I could do without the roof (ok, maybe not now that winter is on the way). I could do without the car (there's a little store, a bank and a post office down the street...AND there are two computers in my house that are WIRED!).
But do without my family and friends? I DON'T THINK SO!
My single best piece of friendship advice for the month (I wish I could claim it as my own)? To have good friends - BE a good friend!
Friday, October 12, 2007
IN-LAWS - October 2007
I thought this month I'd start introducin my in-laws to you:
MIL-is the first in-law (to be) that I met. She came to visit DH before we were married and took us shopping (woohoo!). We went into Sears and happened to walk through the children's department. They had some terribly cute baby girl dresses on a rack and I made the mention "Oh, Chris, look at the cute dresses!" She stopped and turned around, "Do y'all have something to tell me?" (We didn't at that time.)
MIL started out being a great source of support. We would talk frequently on the phone and email back and forth. For a time I considered that I was closer to her than to my own mother. (My family has always been so 'formal'.) I thought that if anything ever happened to DH and me that MIL and her husband would be the perfect folks to take care of our kids ... as I truly thought that she would bust a gut to protect and provide for them.
Flash forward a couple of years, one marriage, and two children later. We fell on some hard times and moved the familiy into a motel. Not the optimum environment for children, to be sure, but we were very watchful of the boys.
Anyway, MIL decides that we need "help", and her idea of help at this point was to draw up a 'contract' of how we were to improve ourselves. We were to sign and keep all points of the contract or she would try to get custody of our children. Her SIL, who lived in the same town as us, was to have checked up on us. She did actually come and talk to us once. (I wasn't thrilled about this situation, but my self-esteem was not the best at this time.)
Well, the next thing we know - about two days later - is a knock on our door at night, and a process server with papers showing that MIL has gone ahead and had a court date set up for a hearing to determine our fitness as parents. The most disturbing issue on the papers was the fact that it asked for custody between MIL and DH ... my name wasn't included.
The first court date was about a month after "the" 9/11. MIL was not there. Her lawyer asked for, and was granted, a continuance based on that air travel was too hectic after 9/11. I wish we could have shown that she had criss-crossed the country several times by plane in the interim. She just wanted the court date to be during a planned visit to Ft Worth some weeks down the road.
The week before her visit, Chris said that she told him she was withdrawing the case. I said, "Fine. Let's get the letter saying that from our lawyer." Two days before the hearing, he said that MIL had instructed her lawyer to drop the case, so we didn't need to go to court. I said, "Fine. Unless I have the paper in my hand, I am going to show up anyway." Given all that had happened, I wouldn't put it past her to try and trick us.
Personally, I think she dropped the case because we were not going to let her see the boys until after the hearing. But that's just my opinion.
I am no longer angry at her for trying to get custody of the boys...of course, it's been six years. She asked me that Christmas-time if I hated her and her husband. I said I did not agree with what she had done, but that hate was a waste of my time. She had, by her own admission, not been a stellar mother in her own right and I think part of her thought was that she could make up for that through my children.
Now, we are cordial when we meet. But we don't talk on the phone much, and hardly ever email. And if she ever takes the kids somewhere alone, it is without my knowledge or my blessing.
MIL is very into family and geneaology (which we have in common) and heritage. She's a member of the DAR, Daughters of the American Pilgrims and organizations of that sort. She has good drive, so she has been an officer in quite a few of the organizations to which she belongs, including some state level positions.
She and her husband recently "retired" from San Francisco to Ft Worth, where they both spent time in their youth. They had a house built on land next to a house where she grew up on the north side of town. It is very handicapped accessible (her husband is a triple amputee from the Viet Nam Era) and has a "panic room". I'd kind of like to see that someday.
I'm sure there's more I could write about her, but I'm equally sure that will come out here and there in future posts.
What's your MIL like?
MIL-is the first in-law (to be) that I met. She came to visit DH before we were married and took us shopping (woohoo!). We went into Sears and happened to walk through the children's department. They had some terribly cute baby girl dresses on a rack and I made the mention "Oh, Chris, look at the cute dresses!" She stopped and turned around, "Do y'all have something to tell me?" (We didn't at that time.)
MIL started out being a great source of support. We would talk frequently on the phone and email back and forth. For a time I considered that I was closer to her than to my own mother. (My family has always been so 'formal'.) I thought that if anything ever happened to DH and me that MIL and her husband would be the perfect folks to take care of our kids ... as I truly thought that she would bust a gut to protect and provide for them.
Flash forward a couple of years, one marriage, and two children later. We fell on some hard times and moved the familiy into a motel. Not the optimum environment for children, to be sure, but we were very watchful of the boys.
Anyway, MIL decides that we need "help", and her idea of help at this point was to draw up a 'contract' of how we were to improve ourselves. We were to sign and keep all points of the contract or she would try to get custody of our children. Her SIL, who lived in the same town as us, was to have checked up on us. She did actually come and talk to us once. (I wasn't thrilled about this situation, but my self-esteem was not the best at this time.)
Well, the next thing we know - about two days later - is a knock on our door at night, and a process server with papers showing that MIL has gone ahead and had a court date set up for a hearing to determine our fitness as parents. The most disturbing issue on the papers was the fact that it asked for custody between MIL and DH ... my name wasn't included.
The first court date was about a month after "the" 9/11. MIL was not there. Her lawyer asked for, and was granted, a continuance based on that air travel was too hectic after 9/11. I wish we could have shown that she had criss-crossed the country several times by plane in the interim. She just wanted the court date to be during a planned visit to Ft Worth some weeks down the road.
The week before her visit, Chris said that she told him she was withdrawing the case. I said, "Fine. Let's get the letter saying that from our lawyer." Two days before the hearing, he said that MIL had instructed her lawyer to drop the case, so we didn't need to go to court. I said, "Fine. Unless I have the paper in my hand, I am going to show up anyway." Given all that had happened, I wouldn't put it past her to try and trick us.
Personally, I think she dropped the case because we were not going to let her see the boys until after the hearing. But that's just my opinion.
I am no longer angry at her for trying to get custody of the boys...of course, it's been six years. She asked me that Christmas-time if I hated her and her husband. I said I did not agree with what she had done, but that hate was a waste of my time. She had, by her own admission, not been a stellar mother in her own right and I think part of her thought was that she could make up for that through my children.
Now, we are cordial when we meet. But we don't talk on the phone much, and hardly ever email. And if she ever takes the kids somewhere alone, it is without my knowledge or my blessing.
MIL is very into family and geneaology (which we have in common) and heritage. She's a member of the DAR, Daughters of the American Pilgrims and organizations of that sort. She has good drive, so she has been an officer in quite a few of the organizations to which she belongs, including some state level positions.
She and her husband recently "retired" from San Francisco to Ft Worth, where they both spent time in their youth. They had a house built on land next to a house where she grew up on the north side of town. It is very handicapped accessible (her husband is a triple amputee from the Viet Nam Era) and has a "panic room". I'd kind of like to see that someday.
I'm sure there's more I could write about her, but I'm equally sure that will come out here and there in future posts.
What's your MIL like?
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
MARRIAGE - October 2007
I have been married twice. Both times I met the man over the internet, in role-playing games. The first time, I didn't meet the man face to face until about 4 hours before we got married. (I KNOW, I KNOW, BUT I WAS YOUNGER AND STUPID(ER) THEN! I also plead temporary insanity.)
Looking back, I don't think he wanted to be married. Either that, or our ideas on what a marriage should be were vastly divergent. He wanted a place to crash and food in the refrigerator without having to do much for it. I wanted a husband and down the line a family.
We had six months ... that didn't leave much time for the family part. The 'legal' marriage lasted a while longer, only because I couldn't afford (even with pauper filing) the fees, and he didn't care one way or the other, provided he was out of SLC and away from the husband of his mistress (who wanted to kill him). But I digress ....
Flash forward 3 years to meeting DH2 in person. He was supposed to come out for a week to visit. He wound up staying. That was 11+ years, one wedding and 3 children ago.
It hasn't always been easy. The first child came a few months before our wedding ... after my first experience at marriage, I wasn't eager at all to try it again. At one point before we found out we were pregnant, he went on a business trip ... that was rumored to be something more ... and I felt he might not come back.
During the first of many job 'hiccups', his employer at the time put a stop-payment on one of his paychecks, and I found out my checking account was almost $1,000 OVERDRAWN a couple of days before the wedding.
I think the biggest challenge we have survived was his multiple "job training trips" to Atlanta and Columbia (?), SC. The "icing on the cake" of that experience was a woman phoning the house one night and me picking up the phone: she asked if DH would take a paternity test for her TWIN BOYS. He was putting the boys to bed when the call came in; I went and told him about the call, and we switched places. When he came back, he said that there was no one on the line. (Well, that'll happen when you hang up on them, now, won't it?)
So why are we still together? I didn't just make promises to DH when we got married, I made promises to God. We have been blessed to be steward-parents to our 3 children. And I wasn't promised it would be easy ... only that it would be worth it.
I believe the marriage partnership is pivotal in making strong homes and families. You may have a differnt arrangement ... just translate into whatever social terms you need to; I'll keep using "marriage" to refer to the partnership of the two heads of household, because that is in my experience.
If you would like to share a tip, or the best and worst of your marriage, or just share some thoughts, please feel free to comment!
Looking back, I don't think he wanted to be married. Either that, or our ideas on what a marriage should be were vastly divergent. He wanted a place to crash and food in the refrigerator without having to do much for it. I wanted a husband and down the line a family.
We had six months ... that didn't leave much time for the family part. The 'legal' marriage lasted a while longer, only because I couldn't afford (even with pauper filing) the fees, and he didn't care one way or the other, provided he was out of SLC and away from the husband of his mistress (who wanted to kill him). But I digress ....
Flash forward 3 years to meeting DH2 in person. He was supposed to come out for a week to visit. He wound up staying. That was 11+ years, one wedding and 3 children ago.
It hasn't always been easy. The first child came a few months before our wedding ... after my first experience at marriage, I wasn't eager at all to try it again. At one point before we found out we were pregnant, he went on a business trip ... that was rumored to be something more ... and I felt he might not come back.
During the first of many job 'hiccups', his employer at the time put a stop-payment on one of his paychecks, and I found out my checking account was almost $1,000 OVERDRAWN a couple of days before the wedding.
I think the biggest challenge we have survived was his multiple "job training trips" to Atlanta and Columbia (?), SC. The "icing on the cake" of that experience was a woman phoning the house one night and me picking up the phone: she asked if DH would take a paternity test for her TWIN BOYS. He was putting the boys to bed when the call came in; I went and told him about the call, and we switched places. When he came back, he said that there was no one on the line. (Well, that'll happen when you hang up on them, now, won't it?)
So why are we still together? I didn't just make promises to DH when we got married, I made promises to God. We have been blessed to be steward-parents to our 3 children. And I wasn't promised it would be easy ... only that it would be worth it.
I believe the marriage partnership is pivotal in making strong homes and families. You may have a differnt arrangement ... just translate into whatever social terms you need to; I'll keep using "marriage" to refer to the partnership of the two heads of household, because that is in my experience.
If you would like to share a tip, or the best and worst of your marriage, or just share some thoughts, please feel free to comment!
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
BLENDED FAMILIES - October 2007
Granted, I do not have a lot of experience with blended families. My first marriage did not produce any children (thank goodness). But by blended, I mean families that come into being through remarriage, or when one or both new spouses bring children to the group.
Both of my husband's parents remarried early on. My FIL has been remarried for more than 26 years now, and she had a son from a previous marriage. So DH has a step-brother from there. His mother (my MIL) also remarried several times, like five or 6, and finally married the man she was seeing before she met my FIL. He has four children, I believe, from a previous marriage, so there are two step-brothers and two step-sisters from that union.
If the new spouses have children together, then you get the half-brother and sister relationships going on. There are few relationships of this sort in my family on either side, at least any of which I am aware.
So, do I have step-brothers and step-sisters-in-law? The ones that live in California, I've had no contact with, and don't think I ever will. They're just not too interested in any contact, and other than the oldest son and his family, I don't see much probability of it happening. I've been thinking, though, that MIL and her current husband would like a present from the "grandkids", that being the two step-cousins to my children and my three.
My FIL's wife's son has two children, a daughter who is a year older than my girl and a son, who is going on 2, I think. My DD's nose got out joint one of the last times we visited, because the boy was there and getting some of "her" attention. It was amusing and touching to watch.
So, how do those of you with immediate blended families do it? Keep house and home and bodies together?
Both of my husband's parents remarried early on. My FIL has been remarried for more than 26 years now, and she had a son from a previous marriage. So DH has a step-brother from there. His mother (my MIL) also remarried several times, like five or 6, and finally married the man she was seeing before she met my FIL. He has four children, I believe, from a previous marriage, so there are two step-brothers and two step-sisters from that union.
If the new spouses have children together, then you get the half-brother and sister relationships going on. There are few relationships of this sort in my family on either side, at least any of which I am aware.
So, do I have step-brothers and step-sisters-in-law? The ones that live in California, I've had no contact with, and don't think I ever will. They're just not too interested in any contact, and other than the oldest son and his family, I don't see much probability of it happening. I've been thinking, though, that MIL and her current husband would like a present from the "grandkids", that being the two step-cousins to my children and my three.
My FIL's wife's son has two children, a daughter who is a year older than my girl and a son, who is going on 2, I think. My DD's nose got out joint one of the last times we visited, because the boy was there and getting some of "her" attention. It was amusing and touching to watch.
So, how do those of you with immediate blended families do it? Keep house and home and bodies together?
Monday, October 8, 2007
EXTENDED FAMILY - October 2007
Thank goodness families don't stop at parents and children, eh? I've never lived hear so many relatives in my life as I have since we moved to Kentucky. Ok, they're in-laws, but they count! *lol*
In the family into which I was born, there was my father (now deceased), my mother, my brother and myself.
My Dad's brother (RS) had two sons, one of whom is married. My uncle's oldest son is married with at least one daughter.
Dad's oldest sister (SS) had 3 children-two boys and a girl. The oldest son is married with children. The younger son was single at last report. And my girl cousin has children ... but I'm not sure if she is married at this point.
Dad's youngest sister (MW) got married, but never had children.
My mother had only one brother (WB). He and his first wife (who passed on within the last few years), had 3 daughters. My oldest cousin in this family (MT) married, but also had no children. Her sister (CB) never married and has no children. The youngest (BB) never married and died from a drug overdose some years ago.
In my immediate family there is DH, DS1, DS2 and DD.
So, I go from being me (alone in the world) to having 30 living family members (and those are just the blood relatives)!
I'm not even going to get started on the in-laws this month, because neither you nor I have that kind of time! *lol*
What does YOUR extended family look like?
In the family into which I was born, there was my father (now deceased), my mother, my brother and myself.
My Dad's brother (RS) had two sons, one of whom is married. My uncle's oldest son is married with at least one daughter.
Dad's oldest sister (SS) had 3 children-two boys and a girl. The oldest son is married with children. The younger son was single at last report. And my girl cousin has children ... but I'm not sure if she is married at this point.
Dad's youngest sister (MW) got married, but never had children.
My mother had only one brother (WB). He and his first wife (who passed on within the last few years), had 3 daughters. My oldest cousin in this family (MT) married, but also had no children. Her sister (CB) never married and has no children. The youngest (BB) never married and died from a drug overdose some years ago.
In my immediate family there is DH, DS1, DS2 and DD.
So, I go from being me (alone in the world) to having 30 living family members (and those are just the blood relatives)!
I'm not even going to get started on the in-laws this month, because neither you nor I have that kind of time! *lol*
What does YOUR extended family look like?
Sunday, October 7, 2007
DAUGHTERS AND SISTERS - October 2007
I've never had a sister, although I do have a daughter.
There is a resident at work that I call "sister" sometimes. "N" is almost exactly 10 years older than me. We're about the same body style/shape and now that I've gotten my hair cut, we look the same there too (except my hair is naturally curly and hers is not). She is non-verbal, but I've learned over the course of the past year that she sings monosyllabic (duh-duh-duh) versions of "Jesus Loves Me" and "Happy Birthday"!
I get frustrated sometimes because she can't tell me when or where she hurts. But it is easy to tell when that is the case, because she becomes very obstinate (almost combative at times) ... gee, that sounds familiar too! *lol* My husband will probably tell you that I get really, REALLY quiet when I'm upset or in pain and can be quite the biotch.
"N"'s birthday is 5 days before mine.
She has myriad physical and medical issues as well. She can walk, but requires two helpers and a gait belt and is still extremely unsteady. Most of the time she is in a wheelchair, a recliner or her bed. But she tries to assist in her care anyway. Some of the other residents cannot or will not help, the former being one of those things that is what it is and you just have to deal with it, because if it was you ... or a relative of yours, you would want them to have the very best care possible. Some residents go out of their way to make things more difficult and that can be downright aggravating sometimes, but we walk a delicate line between assisting them in becoming more independent and allowing them to exercise that independence. (I'll get back on topic now.)
"N" is also prone to seizures. I've had to help hold her at times when the nurse has given her a shot of anti-seizure med and it has not been easy.
"N" is a good hugger and her smile can light up my day.
*****
Now, for my daughter.
This is my little angel at a couple of months old. I was beginning to think that I would never have the chance to have a little girl of my own. I was getting towards the end of "traditional" child-bearing years (whatever that means) and it had been four years since I had been preggers. I began to suspect that I was pregnant, but didn't even want to tell my husband until I was sure.
So I got a home test and took it to work with me one evening. (I was working nights transcribing reports at a police department in Texas at the time.) I took the test and tried not to tap my feet too loudly in the bathroom stall, not wanting to leave until I knew - because I didn't want anyone to walk in on me with my stick out (ooooh, that sounds bad, doesn't it? *LOL*) at the sink. THEN I had to keep my mouth shut for the rest of the shift; well "had to" is relative, but I thought DH should probably hear it first. When I walked in the door the next morning, he was sitting at the computer (I know, big surprise) and I said, "Oh, good! You're sitting down."
We decided NOT to tell his mom right off that time around, halfway because of comments she had made relative to our being able to afford any more children, and partially because of my health concerns and would the pregnancy go to term.
When we got the news from the amnio that she was ok genetically (and that she was a girl), I went straight to Wally World and got a little pink and white striped sleeper for $3.48 off the sale rack. A couple months down the road, when she came to town to visit her sisters and grandchildren, we went to her sister's house where she was staying to visit her. The sleeper was in a WalMart bag and we handed it to Brian and told him to give it to Grammy.
She opened it and saw the outfit, pulled it out of the bag and held it up. "What is this," she asked. "IT'S FOR MY BABY SISTER," Brian replied.
Then the water works came.
There is a resident at work that I call "sister" sometimes. "N" is almost exactly 10 years older than me. We're about the same body style/shape and now that I've gotten my hair cut, we look the same there too (except my hair is naturally curly and hers is not). She is non-verbal, but I've learned over the course of the past year that she sings monosyllabic (duh-duh-duh) versions of "Jesus Loves Me" and "Happy Birthday"!
I get frustrated sometimes because she can't tell me when or where she hurts. But it is easy to tell when that is the case, because she becomes very obstinate (almost combative at times) ... gee, that sounds familiar too! *lol* My husband will probably tell you that I get really, REALLY quiet when I'm upset or in pain and can be quite the biotch.
"N"'s birthday is 5 days before mine.
She has myriad physical and medical issues as well. She can walk, but requires two helpers and a gait belt and is still extremely unsteady. Most of the time she is in a wheelchair, a recliner or her bed. But she tries to assist in her care anyway. Some of the other residents cannot or will not help, the former being one of those things that is what it is and you just have to deal with it, because if it was you ... or a relative of yours, you would want them to have the very best care possible. Some residents go out of their way to make things more difficult and that can be downright aggravating sometimes, but we walk a delicate line between assisting them in becoming more independent and allowing them to exercise that independence. (I'll get back on topic now.)
"N" is also prone to seizures. I've had to help hold her at times when the nurse has given her a shot of anti-seizure med and it has not been easy.
"N" is a good hugger and her smile can light up my day.
*****
Now, for my daughter.
This is my little angel at a couple of months old. I was beginning to think that I would never have the chance to have a little girl of my own. I was getting towards the end of "traditional" child-bearing years (whatever that means) and it had been four years since I had been preggers. I began to suspect that I was pregnant, but didn't even want to tell my husband until I was sure.
So I got a home test and took it to work with me one evening. (I was working nights transcribing reports at a police department in Texas at the time.) I took the test and tried not to tap my feet too loudly in the bathroom stall, not wanting to leave until I knew - because I didn't want anyone to walk in on me with my stick out (ooooh, that sounds bad, doesn't it? *LOL*) at the sink. THEN I had to keep my mouth shut for the rest of the shift; well "had to" is relative, but I thought DH should probably hear it first. When I walked in the door the next morning, he was sitting at the computer (I know, big surprise) and I said, "Oh, good! You're sitting down."
We decided NOT to tell his mom right off that time around, halfway because of comments she had made relative to our being able to afford any more children, and partially because of my health concerns and would the pregnancy go to term.
When we got the news from the amnio that she was ok genetically (and that she was a girl), I went straight to Wally World and got a little pink and white striped sleeper for $3.48 off the sale rack. A couple months down the road, when she came to town to visit her sisters and grandchildren, we went to her sister's house where she was staying to visit her. The sleeper was in a WalMart bag and we handed it to Brian and told him to give it to Grammy.
She opened it and saw the outfit, pulled it out of the bag and held it up. "What is this," she asked. "IT'S FOR MY BABY SISTER," Brian replied.
Then the water works came.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
SONS AND BROTHERS - October 2007
I know, I know, the picture is skattywhompus (scat-e-wahm-puss), but it's the only one I readily had showing my brother. He is 22 months older than me and has had a beard as long as I can remember. It is odd to see pictures of him when he was a child ... and not having a beard.
My favorite childhood memory of my brother happens when I lost a tooth and put it under my pillow for the Tooth Fairy. In the morning, the tooth was still there. I went into near-hysterics because TF had forgotten me, and my brother went to his own piggy bank, dug out a quarter (I understand TF prices have not been immune to inflation since then) and gave it to me.
Bro is also an amazing pianist and organist. He played the organ for years at my mother's church, and still does on occasion, even though she cannot attend regularly anymore. He accompanies voice students at the University of Utah, has played for the Utah Opera and too many other places to mention.
The more I get to know him, the more I like him. :)
These, on the other hand, are my boys. The older one, TOO busy eating to look up from his plate, is said to look more like me. The younger one, who was considering walking off with the serving plate of fruit and dip, has been said to be the spitting image of his paternal grandfather (Papaw) at that age.I'll call the older one "Sir" (part of a nickname from his younger years), and the younger son "Squire" (from the same shared nickname)
The first time I saw Sir was in a delivery-induced medical haze, on the side and being wheeled out of the room to go on oxygen for a while. DH brought me a Polaroid picture of him in the nursery...it scared me. The first time I really saw him (and got to hold him) was about 24 hours later, when the nurses brought his bassinet into my room and closed the door. That scared me even more. What the heck was I supposed to do now?
I actually got to hold Squire right after he was born (and they had washed the icky stuff off). That was a shock. I wasn't expecting it, maybe from not having been able to hold his older brother until the next day. Whenever Squire is feeling down (he can be sensitive at times), I tell him that story and how special that was to me, because he was the only one of my 3 children I got to hold right after he was born. I think it helps him; it seems to anyway.
If you'd care to share about your brother(s) and sons(s), feel free, or post in your own blog and leave a link in your comment here! :)
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
HOME - October 2007
I hate it when blogs go away. I had posted a great entry on Homes to an old blog of the same name at selectablog.com, then went there one day and it was gone! ARGH! So, I start over ... again.
What is a "home". Dictionary.com has 31 definitions under the word "home". I'll go with #2 as my favorite, which is "the place in which one's domestic affections are centered".
For me, it doesn't matter where you lay your head at night, a mansion, an apartment, a trailer, a tent, a lean-to ... house and "home" are two different things. Why lay your head in luxury if there is no home. (OK, maybe once in a while on vacation.) And love can even make a stone pillow feel a little softer.
So, it doesn't matter where you live, but more how you live, that makes a house a home. There is a great sense of 'belonging' or 'fit' in a home. This also allows the concept of home to extend beyond the 'domestic' units mentioned above, to work and social settings. There are 18 cottages where I work, that house the residents. One of them is definitely my 'home', because I belong there.
Many of the Mommy Bloggers out there write about their homes, more than their houses. While I enjoy the occasional "house improvement" (yeah, I know the expression is 'home' improvement) entry, I am more interested in how someone and their family reacted to or dealt with the situation. Human interest, ya know.
One of the definitions I found listed home as "(in games) the destination or goal". After work, we want to go home. If you are like me, after the dentist, you want to go home. After school, kids want to go home ... and then leave their homework there while they go to the mall or to a friend's house. You can always retreat to and regenerate at a home. Homes nourish our souls.
So, how do we strengthen our homes? Have family mealtimes, tell the people in your family that you love them (and mean it), and don't spend too much time on the computer! *lol* (I really shouldn't talk because I owe my house and home and family to the computer. DH and I 'met' online a year before we met in that bus station in Salt Lake City.)
How will you strengthen your home this month? I invite you to leave a comment with your answer! :)
What is a "home". Dictionary.com has 31 definitions under the word "home". I'll go with #2 as my favorite, which is "the place in which one's domestic affections are centered".
For me, it doesn't matter where you lay your head at night, a mansion, an apartment, a trailer, a tent, a lean-to ... house and "home" are two different things. Why lay your head in luxury if there is no home. (OK, maybe once in a while on vacation.) And love can even make a stone pillow feel a little softer.
So, it doesn't matter where you live, but more how you live, that makes a house a home. There is a great sense of 'belonging' or 'fit' in a home. This also allows the concept of home to extend beyond the 'domestic' units mentioned above, to work and social settings. There are 18 cottages where I work, that house the residents. One of them is definitely my 'home', because I belong there.
Many of the Mommy Bloggers out there write about their homes, more than their houses. While I enjoy the occasional "house improvement" (yeah, I know the expression is 'home' improvement) entry, I am more interested in how someone and their family reacted to or dealt with the situation. Human interest, ya know.
One of the definitions I found listed home as "(in games) the destination or goal". After work, we want to go home. If you are like me, after the dentist, you want to go home. After school, kids want to go home ... and then leave their homework there while they go to the mall or to a friend's house. You can always retreat to and regenerate at a home. Homes nourish our souls.
So, how do we strengthen our homes? Have family mealtimes, tell the people in your family that you love them (and mean it), and don't spend too much time on the computer! *lol* (I really shouldn't talk because I owe my house and home and family to the computer. DH and I 'met' online a year before we met in that bus station in Salt Lake City.)
How will you strengthen your home this month? I invite you to leave a comment with your answer! :)
Monday, October 1, 2007
Family - October 2007
Families come in all shapes and sizes. Some are the "average" family: father, mother and 2.4 children (I guess that means they have one on the way). *LOL* Some are single parent families. Some are blended families, with "steps" of every shape and sort. Some are foster families. Some are adopted families.
There are also work families, project families, worship families ... you name any group of people and you can probably form some type of family relationship within that group.
But for the sake of simplicity, and because I have the most experience with the "traditional" form of family (in my case, father, mother, three children) that's how I will write about a family. Please make whatever changes necessary to fit how your family distributes those roles or functions.
In a 1950's traditional family, the father goes out to work, the mother stays home and does the child-rearing, the kids go to school and all is right with the world. This is rarely the case these days. I would hazard a guess that many families with two parents have both of them working, maybe even both full-time. Sometimes this is necessary. We could use more than one income in my family - as we regularly run out of paycheck before the pay period is over. But we do ok.
IMO, if both parents work in order that the family can purchase a house in which to live, that is a "good" reason to be absent from the family. If both parents work so they can get a boat or the latest in electronics etc, I'm not sure that's such a good idea. BUT, before people start screaming, that's just how it is for me and my family. If those items are priorities for you and your family, then it suits you.
I guess my point is, make the most of the time you have together as a family. Here are some random thoughts on how that can happen (feel free to add your own):
- parents help children with homework
- volunteer together as a family
- have as many meals together as a family during the week as possible
- have a chore chart that includes everyone old enough to help, including mom and dad.
- parents volunteer at your child's/children's school(s). They may not say it, but your kids really get a charge out of their parent(s) being there.
- teach children how to cook (so they can help prepare the family's meals).
- watch a movie "en famille" complete with popcorn and drinks.
- go to a worship service together.
Here's to the strengthening of your family this month and every month!
There are also work families, project families, worship families ... you name any group of people and you can probably form some type of family relationship within that group.
But for the sake of simplicity, and because I have the most experience with the "traditional" form of family (in my case, father, mother, three children) that's how I will write about a family. Please make whatever changes necessary to fit how your family distributes those roles or functions.
In a 1950's traditional family, the father goes out to work, the mother stays home and does the child-rearing, the kids go to school and all is right with the world. This is rarely the case these days. I would hazard a guess that many families with two parents have both of them working, maybe even both full-time. Sometimes this is necessary. We could use more than one income in my family - as we regularly run out of paycheck before the pay period is over. But we do ok.
IMO, if both parents work in order that the family can purchase a house in which to live, that is a "good" reason to be absent from the family. If both parents work so they can get a boat or the latest in electronics etc, I'm not sure that's such a good idea. BUT, before people start screaming, that's just how it is for me and my family. If those items are priorities for you and your family, then it suits you.
I guess my point is, make the most of the time you have together as a family. Here are some random thoughts on how that can happen (feel free to add your own):
- parents help children with homework
- volunteer together as a family
- have as many meals together as a family during the week as possible
- have a chore chart that includes everyone old enough to help, including mom and dad.
- parents volunteer at your child's/children's school(s). They may not say it, but your kids really get a charge out of their parent(s) being there.
- teach children how to cook (so they can help prepare the family's meals).
- watch a movie "en famille" complete with popcorn and drinks.
- go to a worship service together.
Here's to the strengthening of your family this month and every month!
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Mealtime - September 2007
Mealtime - a time set aside for meals. Almost makes it sound important, having its own time and all. Well, IT IS!
Even if you are single ... I think times should be set aside for sitting down and making your meals an event, and not just an afterthought handed to you through a drive-through window and consumed before your next destination.
There are times for drive-thru's - goodness knows I've visited enough of them in my lifetime. There are also times for paper plates and plastic utensils, like at the family reunion of my in-laws a couple of weeks ago.
But there's also nothing wrong with breaking out a tablecloth, or placemats, and metal "flatware" every once in a while either. Years ago, I visited with some friends of my mother for several days. While I was visiting, they had cloth napkins at every meal ... with napkin rings, no less. Did it make for more work for my hosts? Sure. But the boost it gave me towered over any inconvenience.
You see, we as individuals and families ARE important enough to take a little extra effort at meals. What we eat and drink is what fuels our bodies and allows us to get through what we have to do during a day. Yes, medicine is sometimes important too, but if you didn't or don't eat well, the meds can't work as well either.
So I have a challenge for you all:
If you are single, take a little extra time at one meal in this next week. Make a place setting, light a candle, put a flower on the table. If you're really adventurous, invite someone over to share a meal. If you are married with or without children, make a point to have everyone together at the table for a meal. Use real plates. Talk to each other about how your days went.
Here is a site that focuses on keeping children off alcohol and drugs. This may or may not be a concern in your family. Regardless, they have some good information.
Bon appetit!
Even if you are single ... I think times should be set aside for sitting down and making your meals an event, and not just an afterthought handed to you through a drive-through window and consumed before your next destination.
There are times for drive-thru's - goodness knows I've visited enough of them in my lifetime. There are also times for paper plates and plastic utensils, like at the family reunion of my in-laws a couple of weeks ago.
But there's also nothing wrong with breaking out a tablecloth, or placemats, and metal "flatware" every once in a while either. Years ago, I visited with some friends of my mother for several days. While I was visiting, they had cloth napkins at every meal ... with napkin rings, no less. Did it make for more work for my hosts? Sure. But the boost it gave me towered over any inconvenience.
You see, we as individuals and families ARE important enough to take a little extra effort at meals. What we eat and drink is what fuels our bodies and allows us to get through what we have to do during a day. Yes, medicine is sometimes important too, but if you didn't or don't eat well, the meds can't work as well either.
So I have a challenge for you all:
If you are single, take a little extra time at one meal in this next week. Make a place setting, light a candle, put a flower on the table. If you're really adventurous, invite someone over to share a meal. If you are married with or without children, make a point to have everyone together at the table for a meal. Use real plates. Talk to each other about how your days went.
Here is a site that focuses on keeping children off alcohol and drugs. This may or may not be a concern in your family. Regardless, they have some good information.
Bon appetit!
Monday, September 24, 2007
Computers - September 2007
One way I've used to bring my family together is through the use of online photo sharing. The closest grandparent is 30 minutes away, but there are two in San Francisco (shortly to be moving to Fort Worth), and one in Salt Lake City. We can snap pictures here in Kentucky of the kids, post them to our photo accounts and within minute they can be printed out wherever the grandparents happen to be.
I "googled" "online photo storage and they came up with 21,700,000 results. I have, or have had accounts at several of them:
Photobucket, Shutterfly, Snapfish, and Flickr.
For instance, here is a picture of my boys doing what they do best at the family reunion last weekend:
That's Ben actually looking at the camera, and Brian intent on the work in front of him!
Do you have online photo storage? If so, which service to you use? Do you like it? I'd love to hear your thoughts!
I "googled" "online photo storage and they came up with 21,700,000 results. I have, or have had accounts at several of them:
Photobucket, Shutterfly, Snapfish, and Flickr.
For instance, here is a picture of my boys doing what they do best at the family reunion last weekend:
That's Ben actually looking at the camera, and Brian intent on the work in front of him!Do you have online photo storage? If so, which service to you use? Do you like it? I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Technology and the Family - September 2007
While few would argue that technology has helped us in many ways (travel taking hours instead of days or weeks, laser surgery, etc.), how do we balance the use of technology in our lives so that it enhances our experiences and families and doesn't tear them apart?
Take computers for example. I first encountered this thing we call the Internet back in the fall of 1992. Back then we were talking amber or green print (no pictures, etc) on a black screen and moving from 286 to 386 connection was cause for celebrations. I was at college at the time and saw a listing of MUSHes (multi-user shared hallucinations), accessible via the computer, hosted only who-knows-where. So how does all that work? MUSHes are basically online role-playing games (rpgs), and people would type conversations back and forth between the different characters they assumed. Anne Rice was a big thing at this time (I don't even think the 5th book of the Vampire series was out), and most of my characters seemed to be vampires.
I met my first husband on one of these MUSHes. We talked back and forth, on the computer, and on the phone (one time alone was 2 hours). He asked me to marry him, before we ever met face to face and I agreed. (Yeah, I know, but I was younger and more stupid back then.) We got married in the county courthouse about 7 hours after we met in person.
So, now I had myself a "family", and that is a good thing, right? Well, 6 months later, I asked him to leave our apartment, and about a month after that, he left the state.
Flash forward 14 years. Computers are even more fun now then they were back then. The colors, the sites and sounds are astounding. They are used in nearly every corner of our lives: cars are computerized, kitchen appliances, washers and dryers, offices and schools, etc.
They also lead me to another man, another marriage and three children. That family is still together ... relationships are rocky at times ... but we were never promised it would be easy.
*****
While looking online for information about "technology", I came across this interesting article from Australia that suggests all the technology and choices we have this day is actually detracting from the family's time together.
Take computers for example. I first encountered this thing we call the Internet back in the fall of 1992. Back then we were talking amber or green print (no pictures, etc) on a black screen and moving from 286 to 386 connection was cause for celebrations. I was at college at the time and saw a listing of MUSHes (multi-user shared hallucinations), accessible via the computer, hosted only who-knows-where. So how does all that work? MUSHes are basically online role-playing games (rpgs), and people would type conversations back and forth between the different characters they assumed. Anne Rice was a big thing at this time (I don't even think the 5th book of the Vampire series was out), and most of my characters seemed to be vampires.
I met my first husband on one of these MUSHes. We talked back and forth, on the computer, and on the phone (one time alone was 2 hours). He asked me to marry him, before we ever met face to face and I agreed. (Yeah, I know, but I was younger and more stupid back then.) We got married in the county courthouse about 7 hours after we met in person.
So, now I had myself a "family", and that is a good thing, right? Well, 6 months later, I asked him to leave our apartment, and about a month after that, he left the state.
Flash forward 14 years. Computers are even more fun now then they were back then. The colors, the sites and sounds are astounding. They are used in nearly every corner of our lives: cars are computerized, kitchen appliances, washers and dryers, offices and schools, etc.
They also lead me to another man, another marriage and three children. That family is still together ... relationships are rocky at times ... but we were never promised it would be easy.
*****
While looking online for information about "technology", I came across this interesting article from Australia that suggests all the technology and choices we have this day is actually detracting from the family's time together.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Monthly and Weekly Topics
I had a book about journaling once that gave the idea to make up a list of monthly and weekly topics on which to write as a way to combat writer's block. I had a list made out for this blog, but I did it low-tech - in other words, on paper. (I know, how hillbilly of me.) *lol* And paper doesn't last long around my kids and pets.
So I am going to try to resurrect the ideas here. Feel free to post questions, comments, etc.
MONTHLY TOPICS
1. Family
2. Home
3. Work
4. Moms
5. Dads
6. Sons/Brothers
7. Daughters/Sisters
8. Extended family
9. Blended families
10. Marriage
11. In-laws
12. Friends
13. Genealogy
14. Organization
15. Health/Wellness
16. Insurance
17. Working Outside the Home
18. Working Inside the Home
19. Finances
20. Education
21. Religion/Spirituality
22. Entertainment
23. Vacations
24. Technology
25. Computers
26. Values
27. Environment
28. Animals/Pets
29. Mealtime
30. Volunteering
31. Charity
WEEKLY TOPICS
The Weekly Topics may appear here or on my other blog, Back Porchervations.
Well, as it's the 21st, I'm off to blog a little bit about Religion and Spirituality. Take care, y'all!
So I am going to try to resurrect the ideas here. Feel free to post questions, comments, etc.
MONTHLY TOPICS
1. Family
2. Home
3. Work
4. Moms
5. Dads
6. Sons/Brothers
7. Daughters/Sisters
8. Extended family
9. Blended families
10. Marriage
11. In-laws
12. Friends
13. Genealogy
14. Organization
15. Health/Wellness
16. Insurance
17. Working Outside the Home
18. Working Inside the Home
19. Finances
20. Education
21. Religion/Spirituality
22. Entertainment
23. Vacations
24. Technology
25. Computers
26. Values
27. Environment
28. Animals/Pets
29. Mealtime
30. Volunteering
31. Charity
WEEKLY TOPICS
- Sunday Scribblings
- Monday Movies
- Tuesday Trips
- Wednesday Weirdness and Willies
- Thursday Thirteen
- Friday Friends
- Saturday Silliness
The Weekly Topics may appear here or on my other blog, Back Porchervations.
Well, as it's the 21st, I'm off to blog a little bit about Religion and Spirituality. Take care, y'all!
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Pets - July 28, 2007
Pets are such an important part of our lives. They have therapy dogs that help children with disabilities - such as the two dogs they used to bring in to my sons' primary school. All the kids (750+) loved them - and they really helped the kids with ADD and similar issues (my oldest amongst that number).
There are service dogs, like dogs for the visually impaired, that improve independence and quality of life. There are police dogs, who help sniff out dogs and have been known to sacrifice themselves to protect their human partners.
Here's an animal who was a part of my life.
It took until the 8th grade before I wore my parents down with a request for a dog. The jr high school I attended decorated classroom doors every Christmas season. The drama teacher's dog had puppies around that time and he decorated the door with several boxes that had puppies in them. (The puppies were well taken care of.) But by the time my parents acquiesced, the puppies were gone. I was crushed. One of my classmates, whose father owned the largest local bank, also was looking to adopt out some puppies. On December 23rd we picked out "Sneakers", so named because she had four little white feet. She was a lovable mutt.
My father got mad at me one night because I put a travel alarm clock in her box in the garage (their idea, not mine), because I had read that it comforted puppies who were not with their mother, reminding them of mom's heart beat.
Being wintertime in Salt Lake City, we usually had quite a lot of snow. Sneakers loved it. We used to see her little tail running around in the yard. No, I'm not being crude, but the snow was so high that only the tip of her tail was visible.
My mother would feed Sneakers left-overs some time. Once, and I've no idea why, she fed Sneakers Jell-O on a paper plate. Sneakers's nose got stuck against the plate, and she ran around wildly, unable to see around the plate. It was too funny.
I remember once Sneakers came in dragging. Then I found out why, there was a big gash in her side. I was really worried about her. She lay under a china cabinet for days, hardly moving. A vet just wasn't an option in my parents' opinion. I put food right up under her nose ... nothing ... not a budge ... until I put a couple slices of pepperoni (just the meat, not pizza) nearby. She licked at them a couple of times, then took one slice at a time into her mouth. She made a full recovery.
After I had moved out of my mother's home, I went back to visit all the time (of course). One fall, I was sitting at the dining room table and my brother came in from the back yard with a shovel. I asked him what he was doing. He told me that Mom had told him to dig a hole in the back yard in case Sneakers died that winter (she was about 15 years old by then) and the ground would be too hard to dig. I was REALLY ANGRY about that for a while. I suppose it was practical, but I was not practical where Sneakers was concerned.
Sneakers lived 17 years.
There are service dogs, like dogs for the visually impaired, that improve independence and quality of life. There are police dogs, who help sniff out dogs and have been known to sacrifice themselves to protect their human partners.
Here's an animal who was a part of my life.
It took until the 8th grade before I wore my parents down with a request for a dog. The jr high school I attended decorated classroom doors every Christmas season. The drama teacher's dog had puppies around that time and he decorated the door with several boxes that had puppies in them. (The puppies were well taken care of.) But by the time my parents acquiesced, the puppies were gone. I was crushed. One of my classmates, whose father owned the largest local bank, also was looking to adopt out some puppies. On December 23rd we picked out "Sneakers", so named because she had four little white feet. She was a lovable mutt.
My father got mad at me one night because I put a travel alarm clock in her box in the garage (their idea, not mine), because I had read that it comforted puppies who were not with their mother, reminding them of mom's heart beat.
Being wintertime in Salt Lake City, we usually had quite a lot of snow. Sneakers loved it. We used to see her little tail running around in the yard. No, I'm not being crude, but the snow was so high that only the tip of her tail was visible.
My mother would feed Sneakers left-overs some time. Once, and I've no idea why, she fed Sneakers Jell-O on a paper plate. Sneakers's nose got stuck against the plate, and she ran around wildly, unable to see around the plate. It was too funny.
I remember once Sneakers came in dragging. Then I found out why, there was a big gash in her side. I was really worried about her. She lay under a china cabinet for days, hardly moving. A vet just wasn't an option in my parents' opinion. I put food right up under her nose ... nothing ... not a budge ... until I put a couple slices of pepperoni (just the meat, not pizza) nearby. She licked at them a couple of times, then took one slice at a time into her mouth. She made a full recovery.
After I had moved out of my mother's home, I went back to visit all the time (of course). One fall, I was sitting at the dining room table and my brother came in from the back yard with a shovel. I asked him what he was doing. He told me that Mom had told him to dig a hole in the back yard in case Sneakers died that winter (she was about 15 years old by then) and the ground would be too hard to dig. I was REALLY ANGRY about that for a while. I suppose it was practical, but I was not practical where Sneakers was concerned.
Sneakers lived 17 years.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
War/Territorialism - July 26, 2007
I guess the lyrics of the song "War" sum up my feelings pretty much. I got the lyrics from http://www.lindqvist.com/index.php?ID=476, although the song was originally done by Edwin Starr. Wikipedia has a good page on this at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_(song).
War! huh-yeah
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Uh-huh
War! huh-yeah
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Say it again y'all
War! huh good God
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me?
Ohhh? War! I despise
Because it means destruction?
Of innocent lives
War means tears
to thousands of mothers eyes
When their sons go to fight
and lose their lives
I said - War! Huh Good God y'all
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Say it again
War! Whoa, Lord ...
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me?
War! It ain't nothing but a heartbreaker
War! Friend only to the undertaker
War! It's an enemy to all mankind
The thought of war blows my mind
War has caused unrest in the younger generation
Induction then destruction-
Who wants to die?
Ohhh? War Good God y'all
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Say it, Say it, Say it
War! Uh-huh Yeah - Huh!
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me?
War! It ain't nothing but a heartbreaker
War! It's got one friend, that's the undertaker
War has shattered many a young mans dreams
Made him disabled bitter and mean
Life is much to precious to spend fighting wars these days
War can't give life, it can only take it away
War! Huh Good God y'all
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Say it again
War! Whoa, Lord ...
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me?
War! It ain't nothing but a heartbreaker
War! Friend only to the undertaker
Peace Love and Understanding;
tell me, is there no place for them today?
They say we must fight to keep our freedom
But Lord knows there's got to be a better way
War! Huh Good God y'all
What is it good for?
You tell me
Say it, Say it, Say it
War! Huh Good God y'all
What is it good for?
Stand up and shout it.
Nothing!
It seems to me, and this is just my personal opinion, that most wars have started because one group of people wanted what another group of people had and thought violent aggression and bullying tactics were the best way to get it. Doesn't make sense to me...HUH!
War! huh-yeah
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Uh-huh
War! huh-yeah
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Say it again y'all
War! huh good God
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me?
Ohhh? War! I despise
Because it means destruction?
Of innocent lives
War means tears
to thousands of mothers eyes
When their sons go to fight
and lose their lives
I said - War! Huh Good God y'all
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Say it again
War! Whoa, Lord ...
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me?
War! It ain't nothing but a heartbreaker
War! Friend only to the undertaker
War! It's an enemy to all mankind
The thought of war blows my mind
War has caused unrest in the younger generation
Induction then destruction-
Who wants to die?
Ohhh? War Good God y'all
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Say it, Say it, Say it
War! Uh-huh Yeah - Huh!
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me?
War! It ain't nothing but a heartbreaker
War! It's got one friend, that's the undertaker
War has shattered many a young mans dreams
Made him disabled bitter and mean
Life is much to precious to spend fighting wars these days
War can't give life, it can only take it away
War! Huh Good God y'all
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Say it again
War! Whoa, Lord ...
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me?
War! It ain't nothing but a heartbreaker
War! Friend only to the undertaker
Peace Love and Understanding;
tell me, is there no place for them today?
They say we must fight to keep our freedom
But Lord knows there's got to be a better way
War! Huh Good God y'all
What is it good for?
You tell me
Say it, Say it, Say it
War! Huh Good God y'all
What is it good for?
Stand up and shout it.
Nothing!
It seems to me, and this is just my personal opinion, that most wars have started because one group of people wanted what another group of people had and thought violent aggression and bullying tactics were the best way to get it. Doesn't make sense to me...HUH!
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Women's Health - Sunday, June 22, 2007
Jane Seymour supports the World Heart Federation's advice to women to keep their hearts healthy. A healthy heart is vital for living life to the full. The majority of women, over 60 percent, identify breast cancer as their greatest health concern, yet heart disease and stroke
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Roots
What are your roots? Where are they? When, etc etc etc....
I'm talking about genealogy, or your family history. How much do you know? How much would you like to know, or to pass on to your children and their children?
The best way to start is with what you know already. Write down the information for your own family: yourself, spouse, children. The most basic information includes: name at birth, date and place of birth, marriage date and location (if applicable) and date and location of passing (again, if applicable). This information is the framework for your genealogical information, that can be fleshed out later with stories, scrapbooks, journals, pictures.
Most of this information is grouped together in two ways:
a) Family Group Sheet - which usually lists a husband, wife and any children from that union. If there is a divorce or death, and one spouse remarries, that would be a separate sheet.
b) Generational Chart - starts with one person, usually you or a child. Then you add their parents, and their parents, and so on and so on. I'd say an average number of generations on a sheet is 4 ... you, your parents, your grandparents and your great-grandparents. I saw one chart once that had 11 generations. It was a huge, fold-out piece of paper that covered most of a wall. That's my genealogy dream. :)
Interested? Here are a couple of websites you might find handy:
FamilySearch.org is a site run by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons). Whatever your feelings about the organization, they do have probably the most extensive set of genealogical records and resources available in the world. You can even download a free "Personal Ancestral File" software to keep track on your computer.
About Genealogy I love the whole About.com site and their genealogy information is certainly included. Lots of information, resources, product reviews and articles to be had there.
So, if you haven't started collecting your family history/genealogy, I would certainly suggest starting. But whether or not you have started, I hope to share some information about geanalogy monthly on the 21st of each month.
Y'all take care!
I'm talking about genealogy, or your family history. How much do you know? How much would you like to know, or to pass on to your children and their children?
The best way to start is with what you know already. Write down the information for your own family: yourself, spouse, children. The most basic information includes: name at birth, date and place of birth, marriage date and location (if applicable) and date and location of passing (again, if applicable). This information is the framework for your genealogical information, that can be fleshed out later with stories, scrapbooks, journals, pictures.
Most of this information is grouped together in two ways:
a) Family Group Sheet - which usually lists a husband, wife and any children from that union. If there is a divorce or death, and one spouse remarries, that would be a separate sheet.
b) Generational Chart - starts with one person, usually you or a child. Then you add their parents, and their parents, and so on and so on. I'd say an average number of generations on a sheet is 4 ... you, your parents, your grandparents and your great-grandparents. I saw one chart once that had 11 generations. It was a huge, fold-out piece of paper that covered most of a wall. That's my genealogy dream. :)
Interested? Here are a couple of websites you might find handy:
FamilySearch.org is a site run by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons). Whatever your feelings about the organization, they do have probably the most extensive set of genealogical records and resources available in the world. You can even download a free "Personal Ancestral File" software to keep track on your computer.
About Genealogy I love the whole About.com site and their genealogy information is certainly included. Lots of information, resources, product reviews and articles to be had there.
So, if you haven't started collecting your family history/genealogy, I would certainly suggest starting. But whether or not you have started, I hope to share some information about geanalogy monthly on the 21st of each month.
Y'all take care!
Monday, July 16, 2007
Blog Transfer
Well, I had a blog hosted on selectablog.com. Went to sign in today to find out selectablog.com NO LONGER EXISTS!
Well, a strong home and a strong family may fall down in a strong wind, but they cannot be KEPT down. I will have to do a little backtracking and reorganization, but "Family Home Workshop"'s mission of helping to strengthen families and homes will continue.
Well, a strong home and a strong family may fall down in a strong wind, but they cannot be KEPT down. I will have to do a little backtracking and reorganization, but "Family Home Workshop"'s mission of helping to strengthen families and homes will continue.
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